{"id":44133,"date":"2018-03-22T09:41:17","date_gmt":"2018-03-22T09:41:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.happinessplay.com\/blog\/?p=44133"},"modified":"2026-10-17T19:47:55","modified_gmt":"2026-10-17T19:47:55","slug":"weak-vs-powerful-coaching-questions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.happinessplay.com\/blog\/weak-vs-powerful-coaching-questions","title":{"rendered":"Weak vs Powerful Coaching Questions: Examples and How to Ask Them"},"content":{"rendered":"

Every question we ask carries assumptions that have to be accepted for the question to make sense. Questions point our attention at some things and away from others. How serious is the situation?<\/em> assumes that it is serious. What is the best way to solve this?<\/em> assumes you have more than one choice and that a solution exists. Pay attention to the questions you ask most often, because that is where you will find the assumptions you make without noticing. Remember too that questions call up emotional states.<\/p>\n

Coaching is built on questions, and there are many kinds. This guide shows how to tell a weak question from a powerful one, gives you examples of each, and ends with a handful of questions to reflect on today. If you are collecting true or false<\/em> style questions to play with friends, jump to the reflective questions at the end.<\/p>\n

Why questions versus what and how questions<\/h2>\n

Questions that start with why<\/em> tend to be less powerful. They look back at the past and rarely lead to action. Compare:<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
Weak (looks back)<\/th>\nPowerful (looks forward)<\/th>\n<\/tr>\n<\/thead>\n
Why am I so unlucky?<\/td>\nHow can I avoid this situation in future?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Why does the same thing always happen to me?<\/td>\nWhat can I learn from this experience?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Whose fault is it?<\/td>\nWhat is the solution?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Why did they do this?<\/td>\nWhat made them act that way?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Why can’t I do this?<\/td>\nWhat do I need to make it happen?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Why did it happen to me?<\/td>\nWhat does this experience give me?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

There is one exception: a why<\/em> question can be powerful when it is aimed at your values. Why did I do this? What mattered to me here?<\/em> Questions that start with what<\/em> and how<\/em> are usually stronger, because they focus on the present and on a concrete situation, and they lead to action. Even What should I do?<\/em> works better as What do I want to do?<\/em><\/p>\n

What makes a question powerful<\/h2>\n

Powerful questions look ahead and lead to action. They point at the goal rather than the problem, they ask what<\/em> rather than why<\/em>, and they contain positive, useful assumptions about the situation. You can also use:<\/p>\n